SecularAA Community

The Daily Reader => Daily Recovery Stories and Experiences => Topic started by: Secular Servant on March 07, 2020, 11:04:51 AM

Title: 5 pillars of Recovery
Post by: Secular Servant on March 07, 2020, 11:04:51 AM
Today, I feel like creating something heartfelt. I am so full of emotion right now. I donít know why my heart feels like weeping, but it does.
I want to cry.
Itís probably because Iím PMSing hardcore, but Iíve also been weathering a storm of mixed feelings lately. I feel exhausted from so much excitement happening.
Iíve been blessed with several new developments in my life recently. Iíve accelerated my career, transformed my body with fitness, and learned to be at peace with myself.
It didnít happen overnight. It took hard work. In January, I decided to make some major changes to get where I wanted to be. The results have been mindblowing.
Since the start of the year, Iíve mostly kept to myself.
This is pretty unusual for someone like me. Iím a true extrovert (my Myers-Briggs personality type is ENTP-A). I scream leadership and authority. On the outside, I am energetic, vivacious, and my tenacity for life is through the roof.
Itís a bit ridiculous.
But over the last few years, I have developed this affinity for solitude. I really enjoy being alone. I love how I feel when Iím swallowed in silence. Itís deafening, even when the rest of the world feels so quiet.
It helps me think and heal.
Iíve learned five things on my personal development path over the two years. These five things are more like truths, or lessons, that Iíve learned so far:
1. Recovery requires self-reflection.
For anyone healing from past trauma, whether external or self-inflicted, you know that you need time to think. Sometimes thinking too much can be detrimental. Thatís a separate problem though, and one I fully believe is avoidable if you keep the right attitude.
Anything can be achieved with the right mindset.
Regardless of how much you reflect quietly, you need to do it. You have to examine your life the way you are so keen to examine others. If you dedicated just half of the energy you spend worrying about everyone else into your own life, then youíd probably be much farther ahead in your journey.
You need to fucking focus.
2. Recovery requires self-discipline.
There are going to be times when you donít want to get out of bed. There are going to be times when you want to hit that pipe once more, or drink just one more ounce of your favorite poison. One more fuck, one more outburst of rage, one more instance of feeding the monster.
When your mind is weak, the monster will always win.
You need to train your mind to be strong.
Addiction is powerful. I am addicted to the adrenaline rush of losing control. That means I gave myself up easily to others who didnít love me, hurt peopleís feelings when I was angry, and never got anything done because I didnít want to be ďconfinedĒ to a schedule. I feared my number one power, my own source of strength.
That mental toughness takes time, effort, and practice. Practice is whatís going to make you stronger. Practice is what is going to develop good habits. Practice is whatís going to turn you into the human being you are destined to become, not the shitty human youíre settling for being right now.
Stop whining about what happened. Your excuses need to cease to exist. Your bullshit needs to end right here, right now. Be accountable.
Wipe the tears off your face, get up off the ground, and push yourself.
3. Recovery requires determination.
Who do you want this for? Who are you fighting for?
Are you fighting for your mom, your kid, for the motherfucker youíre still trying to impress? Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing in the first place?
Channel that energy you pour into others and invest in yourself. Fill your own cup to the brim with self-love.
You have to want it for yourself. You have to want it bad. You have to believe in the damn dream before the dream even starts. You have to believe you can achieve it. None of this half-assing around either. Go hard or go home.
You have to commit.
There are so many days I donít want to go to the gym. There are so many days I want to revert to my old ways and just be an asshole. There are so many days I want to do and be less.
But I canít do that anymore. Now that I have achieved more, I donít ever want to go back.
4. Recovery requires transparency.
When you mess up, admit it. Donít sweep the bad under the rug ó donít drag your feet on your mistakes. They happen. You are human! Remember that we as humans are flawed, imperfect beings.
Nobody is asking you to be perfect. Weíre just asking you to be honest.
What will you do when you slip up? Are you going to stand there and look someone in the eye, and lie straight to their face? Are you going to seriously still do that shit after all your effort to change, to stop doing that?
Iíd rather someone be upset with me over my mistake than add dishonesty on my part on top of it all.
I hated telling the truth, especially when it meant I would look bad in the process. I did everything I could to save face when I was younger. I lost a lot of friends over it, and so much respect that I will just never ever get back.
Those were my mistakes. Learn from them and do better.
5. Recovery requires self-love.
When you are choosing to better yourself, you are choosing you.
When you are saying no to harmful behavior and toxic people, you are choosing you.
When you stand up for yourself in a way that is noble and just, rather than spiteful and vengeful, you are choosing you.
When you are exercising and aligning your body with your mind and soul, you are choosing you.
When you are choosing yourself, you are practicing self-love.
This is what it means to love yourself.
Donít fall for the superficial illusion of feeling blissful all the time.
You are entering a relationship with yourself. Understand that this relationship will be like the ones you have with other people ó there will be bad days, sad days, and glorious days too.
There will be times when you donít feel so hot. Thatís okay. Itís a process.
You will not always enjoy your partner, hence you will not always enjoy yourself. You will have times of weakness, low points, and hardships. You will cry and your heart will tear. Your heart will be strained and you will want to crack, but you are prepared.
You can do this. You know this war. You have trained for this battle.
You, my dear, are stronger than you think.

Cheyenne Noelle
Title: 5 pillars of Recovery
Post by: Thebutchersmiles on March 10, 2020, 11:16:30 AM
Thank you this is so helpful truly beautiful and inspiring 💜
Title: 5 pillars of Recovery
Post by: harry on April 03, 2020, 01:51:59 AM
i read this and felt lifted immediately. thank you.